Pisani’s restaurant – Bicheno, Tasmania

By tdf, April 21, 2014

MAIN serving of gnocchi pesto…Despicable.

Whilst the authentic Huntsman spider on the wall and delicious looking assortment of jars and cheeses and hams and lively patrons all served to encourage our confidence in choosing Pasini’s for a pricey dinner to treat ourselves after a hard but satisfying afternoon in kayaks, the picture of happiness and gastronomical pleasure peeled away to reveal a horror-show of incompetence/legalised theft once we actually received our order.

The pizza was an abuse on the palette, barely edible even for my iron stomach. Overly salted, cheaply sparse with the prosciutto; even the bread base appeared poorly kneaded and only 2/3 cooked. Even the seagulls turn their beaks up at such tripe. I hope that line, above all others sticks with whoever reads this…THE SEAGULLS TURNED UP THEIR BEAKS IN REPUGNANCE WHEN OFFERED SUCH TRIPE AS SCRAPS. To be fair, I was glad that they refused the donation, for I would have long after felt a prang of guilt for committing a case of cruelty to animals…

So onto the pesto gnocci, which is one of my favourite meals. The gnocchi was not gnocchi, it was plain old boiled potatoes, shaped crudely, like gnocchi. They fell apart as soon as they were prodded with a fork, tasted of…strangely enough, potato. Had not the texture nor taste of gnocchi. Compliments to the chef, of course, for the attempt to make the shape appear at least very loosely resembling gnocchi, and his handiwork should be held up as a classic case of FAILURE. Ramsey wouldn’t even waste an offensive line on such a creature so clearly, unavoidably, mistakenly in the wrong profession. What kind of people are they usually serving, if they can serve boiled potatoes as gnocchi???? The pesto sauce appeared of lower quality than the cheapest brand found in the supermarket, and to add insult to injury, for $18-24, I received perhaps 8 potatoes, gnocchi sized potatoes.

Believe me when I say I was fuming…My dealings with Pisani’s were at best rancid, at worst one of the most unpleasant cases of daylight robbery I have experienced for many moons. They can’t cook properly, serve boiled potatoes instead of gnocchi, fail to create adequately even a basic pizza, the portions are an offence in themselves, for only a sparrow could find their Mains in any way filling or even a half decent feed.

To top all this off, the service was mindless, impolite and lacking warmth.

Pisani’s gave both my Lady and I the unmistakable conclusion that they are so used to guests staying a night or two in Bicheno, then moving on, that they are far from likely to ever see the guests again, so serve them muck…thats exactly what I mean…muck…the kind of muck you would give someone lacking tastebuds, and charge them double the price for half the meal.

AVOID AVOID AVOID AVOID AVOID AVOID AVOID…

just remember, EVEN THE SEAGULLS TURNED UP THEIR BEAKS AT THE FAMOUS PISANI PIZZA