For King and Country

By tdf, April 24, 2015

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For King and Country…

We have all had the Summer to relax, rest, frolic in the shallows under the precious gaze of our nearest and dearest star, feast, fuck, gouge and maim, essentially, to enjoy the good things in Life.

I have consulted the Elders, locked horns with the Oracle and despite my protestations and supplications, the message remained loud and clear…

An Evil seeps into our dreams, commands our nightmares and approaches from the North. The recent Blood Moon was a symbol of a future that could become our reality. Will that blood flow  from our veins or from the flayed, mangled cadavers of our Enemies?

We are living in dark and treacherous times. If we stand as One, we may prevail. If we scarper and scatter as many, we will be torn limb from limb, eye from socket, heart from chest, cock from balls.

 Where do you stand? With me, or against me?

And so…

I have been busy formulating a defensive blueprint. Contact has been made with other councils regarding a provisional series of friendly skirmishes, with a loose idea of forming a league. Definite interest has been received from Moonee Valley, Yarra and Stonnington.

Before such opportunities for carnage are served on a plate of bones, I feel it is prudent to gather our forces in May. Take a fierce flame to our cobwebs, gauge our general fitness and talent levels.

We could collide at Albert Park, or some other battlefield of mutual convenience. On a weekend. Sunday seems the most popular choice from my initial surveys. Tentatively the 10th and 17th May seem solid options.

Of prime importance is to gain cohesion and nourish camaraderie in the ranks.

The ideal is to aim for an 11 a side squad. To play the beautiful game the way mother nature (as in the British Empire) intended. Your investment of time need only be to commit to two training sessions and one match per month. Throughout the campaign some will fall, which is for the best, as the rotten leaves must be cut from the branches. And by the time December brings forth the corporate games we will be battle hardened and righteous. Feared by all. Likely seeded as favourites or in the least…most despised.

My branding irons are rust free and readied for the coming slaughter. So sharpen your pikes, file the gangrene from your fangs and tidy your souls. Battle will commence and I need to know who will fight and who will flee.

Given the bothersome outbreak of pseudo moral crusaders of corporate correctness and the nature of our mission, I feel it is for the best to keep the communication channels as well as the general thrust of the non-council endorsed festivities removed from council mediums. So please email me at thedissolutefox@hotmail.com to enlist.

Tentatively, I see the squad as…

Daniele Panucci
Urs Speer
Gideon Dahmer
Burke Mengele
Richard Lion Heart
Pete* (aka Pedro)
Marc Bartez
Oz Tugay
Peter ‘thai stick’ Ronaldo
Paul WhiteWalker

John Connor
Mathew Kruger

So what of Dan? Michael? Paul ? Johnny ? Jorge? Barney? Benny Balotelli?

*- Pete is a former all blacks junior star (despite his moon pale skin), veteran gurkha, semi-professional Ghoul and presently wanted by Interpol for Crimes Against Cupidity, Emotional Fraud, Poisoning, Attempted uprisings in Somalia and Yemen. he is also rather handy with a switch-blade.  Indeed, I am certain you will all join me in welcoming such unique talent to our ranks!

Wishing well to all who join the cause and ill-will and blood curses to those who avoid the call to arms.

Email – thedissolutefox@hotmail.com

Fuckbook Group – Xipe Totec’s Flaying Circus

(We may well have a Blacks V Whites friendly also on the horizon. Just need to get confirmation of numbers from my Eritrean comrades…and equally importantly, ensure that the Blacks do not tap into the Sudanese ranks. I would be open to organizing a Whites v Yellows and Blacks v Yellows in turn?)

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