England v Andorra
England v
Andorra
The brief honeymoon period comes abruptly to an end as Mclaren’s
England team face their first competitive match since bowing out, without pride, of the World cup finals only 2 months ago in June. The opponents for this encounter, the first stage of a long journey which will hopefully yield European Championship qualification, are the lowly Andorrans. A motley crew of part-timers who are renowned for both adopting a shocking-to the spectator- 6/4/0 formation and unsavoury, on-field antagonism. As Mclaren said
“they get 11 players behind the ball, defend deep, are very organised, very disciplined, hard to break down and very aggressive in their style”.
Just as well Rooney is banned because no doubt he would thrive on the opportunity to bash a few Andorran skulls and earn himself potentially one of the longest suspensions in footballing history. It is best to save the Toxteth terror for the tougher games that lie ahead, but if Mclaren is to be believed; maybe I am under estimating the threat of these footballing minnows. Probably not.
Personally I was far from impressed with the former
Middlesbrough manager’s appointment, mainly because I have felt that he has had ample chance to influence the national team, through his role as assistant to Eriksson, with zero success to show for his efforts to date. However, every man deserves the benefit of the doubt. But it is Terry Venables inclusion(at the request of Mclaren) in the management set up that has filled me with unprecedented enthusiasm for the coming campaign. What we have lacked for so long, as a national team, is a leader of men who can inspire from the top, both organically and technically. If Mclaren isn’t that type of man, and I don’t think for a second that he is, then El Tel most definitely is. He has that cockney charm and passion which I feel can bring a semblance of direction and vitality back into the team…
Terry Venables- tactically astute, wideboy, who could be just what is needed to breathe life back into the slumbering giant that is the English national football team…
The recent demolition of former Euro champs Greece, looked nice on paper and on the pitch, but it must be noted that the Greeks are nowhere near the force they were when they won that accolade (EURO championships) only two years ago. Still, it was a promising beginning to the Mclaren/El Tel combo. And with the glut of energetic and highly skilled youngsters Mclaren seems hell-bent on bringing into the fold, the future looks decidedly wicked for English supporters.
We are better than
Andorra, in talent and historical terms. Patience is needed for this encounter but so is pressure. The last thing we need is a disheartening, hollow draw.
Prediction: 6-0 engles!
England Line-up:
4-4-2
Robinson
P.Neville Brown Terry Cole
Gerrard Hargreaves (holding) Lampard Downing
Defoe Crouch
PAndorra:
Viera???
One to watch: Defoe. Bags of pace, explosive shooting with youthful exuberance exuding from every pore…A very useful deputy for Rooney. Though I would love to see them play together.
Ref –Austrian
1t
Crowd jubilant, healthy, roaring….
1-Ashley Cole rampaging down the left flank on the overlap…
Betting odds: Andorra 100-1 to win
Downing and Cole offer the potential for world class crosses to be pumped into the box for Crouchy to get his tiny, but in the clouds, head onto.
Strange to see an England team lacking Beckham…
5-GOALLLLLLL Crouchy hits a low drive into the far corner from 15 yards out after good work from Defoe and Cole, 9 goals in 9 games for the stickman…1-0.
7- Defoe is found, 12 yards out from goal, after Downing cross deflects off Crouchy…the shit fizzes inches wide…left boot, but should have done better.
(Earlier result:
Scotland 6-
Faeroe
Island 0!!! NI 0-3
Iceland hahahahahah)
8- Lampard makes space for a shot from 23 yards out…too central…comfortably saved.
9- Neville wins
England’s first corner..Lampard>>Terry makes room for a snapshot,…high and wide…
ALL England…
‘Andorra desperate in defence’– Lawrenson
12- Hargreaves battling like a German version of Gattusso…
‘I’m trying not to be too disrespectful here…but Andorra are hopeless’-Lawrenson
13- Cole…deep cross…well brought down by Gerrard, who is lurking 12 yards from goal…one touch with the chest, then the Liverpool talisman hits a perfect strike across the face of goal into the far corner..GOALLLL 2-0..typical gerrard thunderbolt…
16- Crouch penalised for being too tall.
17- Hargreaves wins ball fair and square but his foe, the Andorran midfielder, falls to the ground as if he has been stabbed in the lung. Recovers promptly.
Gerrard is playing in Beckham’s old position.
Andorra ranked 132nd in world…one victory in their history (v Macedonia 2004)
30- Downing tripped, free kick,,,25 yards out..left hand corner…Lampard FK>>Hargreaves hits one…off the near post and bounces safe across the goal…great effort..
35- Hargreaves wins two challenges…that same Andorran midfielder, Silva, back on the deck…
England put the ball sportingly put out of play to allow the ‘injured’ man to receive treatment/..Silva limps from the field to Venable’s sarcastic applause.
38-GOOOALLLL…Gerrard sells the opposing left-back a dummy down the right flank,,,perfect cross into the box, Defoe thrusts forward… calmly hits one first time on his left peg into the side of the net..excellent movement…superbly finished,,,3-0
44- Mistake by Andorran defence allows half chance for Defoe…who gets a foot to the ball…but the keeper makes a decent save.
44- CORNER>>Terry mistimes his jump and completely fluffs his header…Shame, as there were 5 free English players queuing up for the chance to shoot…
YELLOW for Brown for high tackle on defender.
Offside trap of
Andorra is: every player charge forward when the ball is played into their box…dangerous.
45- Hargreaves penalised for wining the ball.
HT
A stroll in the park for
England. A harrowing, nervy, danger-fraught passage in the dark for
Andorra. True to reputation, the Andorrans are playing every man behind the ball and have only managed to forage, fruitlessly, into the English half, only twice in the first 45 minutes. England have been focusing their play predominately down the flanks with Gerrard proving more than a worthy replacement for Beckham on the Right, and Downing’s left foot consistently useful on the left. We could and should have scored more but with every Andorran player defending it is proving difficult to turn 75% of the possession into a flurry of goals. Defoe’s clinical strike, created by Gerrard’s pin-perfect delivery from the right wing, was the pick of the goals. more to follow I would imagine…Hargreaves has been our best player; doggedly scrapping for every ball, supporting the attack and generally excelling in the anchor man role…
2t
47- GOOOALLLL Defoe claims his second of the afternoon after been played into the danger zone by a great header from Neville…one touch to get the ball onto his right foot, then the young spurs striker despatches an unstoppable right foot drive past the despairing Andorran keeper…
4-0
49- injury to Pujol…SUbbbed for Jimenez…(AND)
56290 attendance at old Trafford….’rule Britannia…Britannia rules the waves’
54- despicable play-acting from Silva(AND) brings a halt to proceedings…pathetic attempt to minimize the carnage..
So much for the Andorran ‘physical approach’; their players have shown themselves to be piss weak. Every time one of their players loses the ball and he goes down injured.
56- Corner for ENG.
Lampard> finds Gerrard, who wins another corner…
Lampard> weak corner, defended.
57- Defoe denied a deserved hatrick by an impressive reaction save from the keeper after intelligent work from A Cole created the opportunity…
64- Hargreaves picks the ball up 30 yards from goal…shapes up then shoots from 25..the ball ricochets off the frame of post and bar. wonderful technique…so unlucky…twice he has hit the woodwork.
65 SUB ENG Downing and Neville off for Richardson and Lennon…
Formation changes to : 3 in defence..with Gerrard moving to an inside right position…the two subs take to the wings..
66-GOOOOAAAAL Lennon found on right wing by Gerrard,,,swerving, pacey cross into the box finds Crouch whose header wrong-foots the keeper, nestling into the right side of the net for 5-0… 10 goals in 9 games for the stickman.
69 YELLOW for Sivera for hacking at the heels of the diminutive, tricky,
Richardson.
The crowd justifiably ‘boo’ the Sanchez, who cries like a baby after collecting some dirt on his shirt.
Crouchy should make way for Johnson.
72- SUB the lively Defoe is taken off for Johnson.
76- long range bouncer from Hargreaves is tipped over the bar….
77- SUB Andorra Sivera off for Garcia
79- ref stops play because inflatable ball is on the pitch…dickhead decision…That took the momentum out of a promising English attack.
80- Johnson finds space deep in the 18 yard box after clever through pass from
Richardson. He cuts the ball back to the giant Crouch whose first time effort drifts just wide of the far post…
89- corner for ENG Richardson from the left> into the keeper’s busy arms. But the ball had gone out of play from the cross…shouldn’t see that at international level. People talk about making sure the cross beats the man, but a cross should ALWAYS beat the fucking touchline.
91- Brown mercilessly savaged by the volatile Jimenez(AND) BOOKED
92 corner for ENG
FT
Satisfactory result for
Andorra.
Hargreaves- the best player on the field. Improves with every game he plays for
England. Let’s hope we can keep him!!!
MOM Owen Hargreaves..gave the ball away only once over 94 minutes..tireless battler who can shoot, pass and relentlessly attack the opposition legs like a pit-bull.
It is extremely hard to conclude much of the new-look
England from this match because frankly
Andorra were pathetic. From start to finish the traffic was One-way with Paul Robinson(the
England keeper) looking more likely to fall asleep than concede a goal. Still, credit must go to the lads for setting about the task in an ultra-professional manner, getting the goals and most importantly, not picking up any fresh injury or suspension troubles ahead of the forthcoming game away to
Macedonia. Which will prove a far trickier outing all-round. The defence and keeper literally had nothing to do but support the attack sporadically, with Neville and Cole, the two fullbacks, both showing enthusiasm and the required pace for providing overlap options on the wings. The attackers both took their chances with aplomb and if the spritely Defoe continues to impress, it will be cruel to see him immediately benched upon the return of wonder kid Rooney. However if Mclaren is to be believed(‘you earn the shirt , you keep the shirt)’, perhaps it is Rooney who will have to be fighting, from the bench, to regain his starting place in this well oiled team. I am a great admirer of young Jermain but Rooney is vastly more potent and a more accomplished match winner.
Stevie Gerrard played superbly on the right wing and made me completely lose the ‘where is Beckham’ thought, through typically wonderful crossing and swashbuckling forward movement. Lampard was a disappointment and I am beginning to wonder if he will ever be able to reproduce his often magnificent club form for his country. The
Chelsea man was off his game, as was seen through wasted passes and corners, and a general lack of penetration. But there is a chance that he has been asked to adopt a more defensive role alongside my new England favourite….Owen Hargreaves. The Canadian born, German reared, but thankfully British citizen, was outstanding in his midfield holding role. He made only one error in the entire game, was unlucky to hit the frame of the goal not once, but twice, both times from distance, and refused to give anything less than his all in every challenge that presented itself. All in all he was wicked.
Downing looked capable on the left wing, but I feel that Joe Cole offers more danger and overall quality.
Lennon and Richardson both need much more time to mature and I doubt very much that Mclaren will risk using them against a more experienced team. Johnson, the other sub, didn’t really have the time needed to impose himself on the match, though he did have one half chance near the end which he was unfortunate not to put away.
Overall a solid performance by the young English lion cubs.
Next Wednesday we face a far sterner test of solidarity and technique when the lads travel to
Skopje to face
Macedonia. Rooney will still be suspended but the gormless, though technically able, Rio Ferdinand will be available for selection after his recent injury problems.
5-0 to
England…A job well done.
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