notes from a rum soaked sophist

By tdf, October 23, 2008

Im a warped wombat with the heart of an ocelot cub, the spirit of a Spartan, the deviant desire of a serial pervert and the dedication towards honour and respect of a roman of the praetorian guard…what matters to me is love. The love between those I consider brethren…the love which is developing thick and fast between my artistic nymph minx and myself…respect and honour, come before everything. Before love… Without them, in my own output to this world where I dwell, I feel like a fraud, like one of the snake people…integrity also, is of ultra importance, in my own caressing of the Outside…and also for those I choose to bring close to my soul…I recall vividly a Caribbean friend introducing me to a few of his acquaintances…he said something along the lines of ‘this is dan, he is always, in the least, honest…’…which went down as well with the crowd as would have telling them that I was a convicted rapist…shock, horror… at best, bemusement…not quite the itch to befriend me, as perhaps richy would have liked, or expected…BEWARE, HE IS HONEST…I liked that. Immensely…it was a beautiful thing to say, and the reaction of his cohorts, epitomized my main issue with western humanity…the pretty lies syndrome…If this sounds arrogant, which it may do, then I need to add balance to this potential ego trip into the Daniele ether…My honesty goes full circle. Which means…that I am honestly a tool at times, honestly an insecure psychopath, honestly a cynical bastard, honestly hard to bear for those of a weak capacity for patience and understanding…but the bones of this body of words, is that Honesty is as integral to decent energy exchange between creatures as wings are to birds…I fucking swear by that adage…is it an adage*** if not is should be…because without honesty, anything spoken between creatures, anything expressed, is vapid, useless, air not land or water…im a water bearer, though my sign is Air…and its no surprise to me or my astrologically slanted sage that I prefer the water to the air and land…I don’t tow the line. I despise lying for the sake of fraudulent serenity and security…Better to be quiet than forsake my integrity…without it I am nothing but a set of carefully rehearsed reactions designed to endear, to maintain, to impress, to keep others happy. Fuck that…what can one learn from lying to others**** nothing, other than how gullible and easy to manipulate others can be…perhaps Im a sophist. Because I play with words, I play with people, but if I am that, a sophist, I am Medea, not a modern politician…to know thyself, one needs to look outwards, as well as inwards…one needs to bounce himself off ALL sorts, not just those he can trust to reflect a warm image…but as a wise friend once told me…the source of these reflections, must be taken carefully into account, for they may have their own agenda, their own barriers to entry into the soul…finding Honesty in a world of pimps and players, hoes and bitches, aint easy…but its worth seeking…we need honest mirrors, not cracked mirrors…else how the hell can we see ourselves…

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