i need to get home to…Neptune

By tdf, July 7, 2023

I am trying to recover from repeated gruesome wounds,

Was already leaning to cynical,

drawn hugely to everything but human Nature,

finding solace of heart soul and…

the human in me,

dissolved in the waves, and the moon still somehow alive in the daylight,

like my dreams come alive in the wake.

I am too long in the fang for the churlish childishness of most I am surrounded by.

They are yet to graduate,

not to suggest me as beyond them,

im just as awful,

just have already been through rites of passage harsh horrible,

to then grow and learn to find my tribe…

no matter how scattered across the galaxy they are.

the humans who know me deeply,

love me…

Not at all as perfect,

or even always decent,

just as something honest,

something often troubling and awful,

sometimes wretched,

sometimes feral,

yet always….

LOYAL OPEN LOVING…

I write this with more focus on the awful I very much often can be.

Its all about those core values of LOYAL OPEN LOVING.

Cliched?????

MAybe I am a cliche,

a mere hint of my heart caused to flutter?

deemed old fashioned,

and yet the reality of me is,…tied to ancient deities>>>

I have long studied the old Gods.

They have more colour, more venom, more savagery,

than the Gods too many of Now vaguely lean towards.

when their reality is that they worship consumer fake vapid….

they speak scripted bullshit, express nothing which means anything,

just wnatever their manager or boss or ‘friends’ expects them to say…

This may be the way to succeed,,,

I understand this,…but it is nor my nature, never has been…

I look more to the poets of my own skin and form,

am pulled towards the heretics,

those burned alive for contesting the consensus,

I am a hooded Pan fiend,

half heartedly veering too much towards the stale lame societal expectations of rules for the already dead.

where the worst of human vermin demand with their words then eyes,

then cuntery whispers,

RULES RULES RULES….

Sad to know they have never heard, let alone felt Lif>>>

I yearn for closeness,

childness innonocence,

care little for anything but HONESTY LOYALY OEPENNESS…

this demand is too much for most humans,

which guides me towards assuming,

i am no human,,,

an animal,

weasel perhaps,

with vageuly human outline…

And yet,

I have found echoes of my animal soul cursed into human form>>>>>