Wedding Speech…

By tdf, October 3, 2006

It is not uncommon for brothers and sisters to fight like cats and dogs, but Isabelle and I, at the height of our combat, fought more like eagle and mouse. Of course it was me who bore the resemblance to the mouse..and if it wasn’t for some fleet-footed dodging, lightning fast reactions and timely interceptions from the official referee, our long suffering mother, I would be carrying far more scars than the handful I still bear from those heavily Oliver Stone influenced guerrilla war days….joking aside, one of my earliest memories of Isabella is when she was 4 and half and I was only 3…there was some chocolate sauce been heated in a saucepan on the hob, she knew I loved chocolate and knew it was Damn hot, but nonetheless encouraged me to dip in my finger, which I did, resulting in a nasty scald and many tears…so in later life, when I was slamming the kitchen door just in the proverbial nick of time, only to re-open the same door to see a knife and fork firmly entrenched in the other side’s vulnerable paintwork, there was no real surprise. It was more a continuation of the pattern of tough love. I could cruelly relate more stories of the war that once raged like wildfire but this is an occasion of celebration, of unity and of love. So I had best change the direction of this comical but a touch sadistic meandering and focus on the more useful part of the Isabella story.

As a child she was always the shy one, the introvert, a stark contrast to my inordinately outgoing nature. But mother encouraged her to come out of her shell as the years wore on, through forced horse riding and music lessons, involvement in as many sociable activities as could be afforded. And by the time Isabelle had reached university, there was a distinct change in her demeanour. What brought this about exactly is unknown, perhaps it was just The Right time for her to being to blossom as an individual. Who cares now! What is important is that my sister began to find her voice as a young woman. With this awakening came the common pitfuls and unwanted bouts of adversity that afflict us all as we begin to mature into adults, but it is these hardships that shape us as human beings and Isabelle did what many people can’t or won’t; she learnt valuable lessons from her trials and tribulations.

It was a Herculian task to bring up not just one, but two extravagantly unruly children, but my mother fought saber tooth and hyena claw to present every opportunity she could provide to both Isabella and I. Thankfully, one of us has made the most of many of those opportunities, worked extremely hard and diligently and made a success of herself in more ways than one. While we may lack a mutually agreeable outlook on life as a whole, I have no qualms about offering praise to my sister, Mathew’s new wife, for her undoubtedly impressive sense of purpose and feverish determination to succeed. Which isn’t to imply that she is a megalomaniac striving to stomp on everyone in her path on the way to the top, far from it. I mean to relate, that she has applied herself to a career and relationship in an extremely positive and respectable manner which I hope will continue to pay dividends for many years to come.

As a side note, now that we have lost a Valdez from the phone book, I feel it is my duty, as English King of the tribe, to work like a fire-ant on crack to bring back some balance and create another Valdez…I am not exactly superstitious but do have some belief in the power of combined wills…So before I continue, I must ask you all to raise your drinks to toast and wish good luck onto my current efforts to retrieve my mislaid French queen from the morally decadent abyss of Paris and acceptance of common sense to which she has fled after falling foul to an acute case of over-exposure to Dan…

I always say and truly believe that one can gleam a useful impression of a person by looking at the creatures who choose to invest their time and love in that person. As I can see here now before me, Isabella has a wide range of friends, a handful of which have been close to her since she was a nipper, which is in itself a testament to her loyalty and popularity amongst a gang which even my own cynical left eye can see clearly is made up of some truly lovely women. To my new brother in law, I offer him a warm welcome into the small, but potent in character, family unit that has held so strong for many years. And without meaning to loosen the bowels of anyone with a natural tendency to worry, it does fill me with some pride that Matthew shares my feverish and some may say at times reckless, love affair with sports bikes, and more specifically with speeds disgracefully in excess of the legal limit. But getting back to the part of this speech which is meant to please the ears of both the newly weds and the numerous knaves, relatives, loved ones and other unsavoury types who have somehow sneaked into this amorous spectacle, I will implore, even demand, that you all fill, at the very least 2 glasses, full to the brim of the strongest alcohol you can find, and then join me in a toast, to honour the two central figures of this hedonistic carnival, my beloved sister and her new man-toy for life, I wish them both a wicked marriage full of happiness and enjoyable depravity, raise your glasses, people…To Isabella and Matthew…

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