where my compass spins

Stuck between the reality of movement into totalitarian fascism, getting my head down, trying not to worry that my curfew, my 5km range of movement, my permissible one hour outside my house is not long term, though it looks likely…and…the three nights of the weekend when I don headphones, sup russian firewater, dance in the garden by the flames to house music…

When this smooth and beautifully bouncing Inner City track goes quiet, my ears switch back to the police sirens I hear every night, no doubt someone has been seen without their muzzle or is suspected of making more than the allowed one trip per household to the supermarket and the boys in blue here…are rather brutal. I instantly seek to find more music, more vodka, more chance to experience the joy not yet beyond the RESTRICTIONS.

My world has narrowed of late.

Even marooned here, a million miles away from my tribe, I have always been able to organise travel, a one way ticket to Moscow or Marrakesh or Colombo, then work my way to wherever I feel a pull towards alien realms where my compass spins and I am all in marvel of my circumstances, truly alive… These past recollections have been taken from me. All that remains is an escape to the mountains and valleys, far away as possible to eek out an existence, from the city of the soulless and heartless.

Surrounded.

By the lemmings cut into two tribes.

those pouring scorn upon me for my muzzle not covering my snout as I walk my hound,

and those supporting ‘movements’ on facebook.

Both factions are herded and absent of any capacity to consider any other opinion,

like my beloved elfin sister

who i still adore above most humans I have known closely,

She has condemned me a fascist,

it hurts…and makes no sense, to any idea of logical reasoning,

but meets her tribe who narrow the discourse to make everything wrong but their idea of right.

i still love her…

Yet shaking my head from the soppiness….

Anyone who considers me a nazi,

a white supremacist,

who has lived with me,

read more of my ramblings and dreams and birth chart than any other…

to consider me a fascist,

indicates more…her indoctrination into a cunt of self.

My brothers are laughing at me, telling me ‘just wear the mask’…

in response to their question of How are YOU?

I have a curfew,

I am not allowed to travel for shopping or the one hour allotted for emerging from my lair,

if I break these rules,

i may be stomped, strangled, or at best fined 5000 or 15000$.

-I dont find this amusing. And it will be their turn soon…

the house tunes are lovely and upbeat, but lead me into long dead fairytales. I need reminder of the possibility of honest scrappers for Righteousness>>>>

 

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