Backs against the wall…

By tdf, April 5, 2017

I am close to zero humans I can count upon as kinfolk.

At least in this sphere of influence.

I mean people whose love for me is total and unwavering,

My mangled family aside,

there is just the Pope and Ninja Sister and of course, equally unwaveringly, and far more a heart beating in time to my own…

my beloved hellhound Oscar.

My favourite times are when I am muddling my senses and finding beautiful echoes of others of my lost tribe or swimming in the ocean, under the surface, feeling the soft tides flow through and across me as I watch the silouhette of my arms on the sand below… yet enough of ME ME ME….what of you? Are you happy? Are you inspired by another to give them your everything, directions to your special place?…..

I give people not just the direction, I drag them so close to it, that they can see it…and yet they continue to disappoint, whether obvious scoundrels, fucked up mongs, or simply those tentatively treading their way far more carefully than myself. Most people are either smart enough to remain closed off and suspicious, or nothing more than a construct of society. Which leaves a very small niche, of hearts and connected souls knowing and feeling the dangers of HURT which comes from a life spent risking everything for everything, yet remain offering directions to their special place.

I ponder that one of the reasons as to why Oscar, my hellhound, rarely seems to exhibit anything other than eagerness to play and fight and roar and live, is that he is instinctively prone to assert himself as honest as the forest, in everything he does, in every collision of wakefulness, and I suppose he does the same in his dreams…and if you live your life honest and know nothing but honesty, it remains natural. WHich is not to suggest he is simple, for he is rather eccentric by the measure of most hounds I have met and known and loved. When you start living your life with deceit, you become deceit…

‘I was over the line ago, thousands of rhyme ago’

‘dreams abruptly put to a halt before they even have a chance to bloom’.

It is not merely the silence of humanity I find in the wilderness which astounds and soothes me, it is the sensation of everything around me proving honest, offering no manipulation…When finding others in the wilderness, I find a generally more honest soul. Where we have gone wrong is the move from cunning endeavour for survival to cunning attempts of manipulation of others and ourselves for profit and gain and comfort…The wind never lies, neither do the trees…