Musings of a dissolute fox, Uncategorized

hidden gems in the mega rough PART VI: Just Think

By tdf, March 6, 2015

I am living so far removed from my own tribe that I fear the assimilation process that may infect me and alter my core has begun to take hold, and my soul is dying in response…failing which, lead me to such extreme animosity to the Near and wannabe Dear, that I make moves, closer by the day and hour, to become the vigilante ninja poet of which I have always dreamt I could and should become, write my lines in blood, in justice, in honour…

…Familial tensions stuck on RED ALERT punctuated by brief glimpses of respite and smile. I love who I shouldn’t. I am wondering who is within touching distance whom I can trust, hold close and feel the mutual warmth, other than my beloved hell-hound. My heart is a compass spinning out of control for whilst the fox cub emotive core yearns for it to point where it feels, the wolf of my spirit demands avoidance, demands loneliness to ensure safety from, at least presently, the potential bermuda triangle of amour…Now is Not the Time. Too many fires to first dowse with whatever comes to hand and thought.

And so…I defer to the thinking and unfeeling facets, share the following, and hope for the best…in all ways.

Afu Ra – Self Mastery

Afu Ra – Monotony

Blueprint – Radio Inactive

Sole – Save the Children

Sole – Suicide Song

dan le sac feat Merz – Long Night of Life

Vast Aire – Adversity Strikes (Cryptic Strikes Remix)

Kasm, Vordul and Vast Aire – Angels & Insects

So much to give,
yet the world keeps punishing me,
demanding I assimilate to the generation of SNAKE,
TO turn a blind eye to what causes my crimson rivers to boil,
to ponder that the first true love I held,
so carefully and totally,
in my everything,
was..
a mistake.

TO accept/…
that I have been making that same damn mistake ever since,
living for a dream that died on a vine long ago fossilized,
TO…
write books of my heartfelt facebook messages drenched with my horror,
which nobody will buy,
TO…
love my people,
and be happy,
that they love me in turn, from near and far…

TO learn to deal with my naivety,
which deeply yearns for goodness,
and cries a flood through every realm where I dwell,
when forced to accept,
that most people are horrible,
liars, cowards, cunts…
and when such scum is allowed to come close,
the pain in revealing their serpent nature,
is…crucifixion of the essence of all a man can know.

I am sickened by society.
growing darker by the day,
and will soon become the night.
for the waking life demands daylight,
and its too hurtful,
too sickening to the soul,
to want to bask in the light of Obsequiousness and Duplicity and Grief and Famine and Killing in our Name…
So I focus on the darkness,
where much of what is despicable is replaced,
with shadows and nightmare and dream.
I would rather roll those dice.
It is easier to wake from your demons than sleep with them.

B. Dolan – Marvin

Saul Williams – Talk To Strangers

Saul Williams – Tao of Now

I will stay awake,
expose myself to the daylight,
and the reptilian cruelty it reveals…
Allow my horn to blow louder,
encourage the fangs and claws to protrude,
be seen,
truly naked of any regard for how I am perceived from the Exterior,
honest as the forest,
wings taking flight,
the moth awoken,
soaring, forlorn, in to the day light.

Release – Saul Williams & Blackalicious