Life has become narrowed. Social media as my main variance of input of humanity. SO I turn to the ocean, throw myself below the surface before Winter relinquishes grasp of the control panel…and the water is ICE…diving in and emerging…its the most alive I have felt since march when i was still swimming at sandringham often…I emerge from the water world with a gasp, and the sky seems more blue, the sound of the wind and waves more crisp and clear, the sand somehow feels more intense to my lower paws as i curl my toes deep beyond the warmed by our nearest, dearest, essential stellar guide top layers and find coolness where the crabs live and face the SUn, write in my journal of how amazingly vital I feel…my senses gorged on every single awareness of existence and slowly but surely as I return to the land dwellers, i become more human and that sensation is lost…my psyche of MANKIND takes centre stage and i revert to that same laboured and boring reactive just mind mind mind…nature makes me an animal and i am so happy when an animal…on land only the night of the full moon comes close, to bask in the glare and glow of our lunar goddess!…a sensation of bliss to everything of me that matters, until I draw away from Nature, back towards, and to become part of…HUMANITY.
My dealings with our accursed species has long confirmed I should not trust in my senses…though I am a gutter cousin of Gruff. Scapin the Scoundrel cousin of Pan…Well aware of my love and bliss found in the forest, yet…reacting more to the realm of our human dominated world with no animals or nature communion other than what we find on our plates and patting between the ears of simpleton hounds…
(other than Oscar who is endearingly Beelzebub in a dog suit)
I am avoiding the more feeling, wise poetic resonance I reimagine my nature as and project to find as some weird kinship with others of my tribe. Sage is a better man than me, as he harbours no ill will, when i am certainly more weasel, though also enjoy and relate to my own heart, the heart he shares…powerfully…
This song is beautiful. A word I rarely use for anything connected to humanity. Only close to ever Nature…but this…
I have spent my life,
of the bambi heart leading the charge,
too focused on some spastic romeo lancelot belief in honest and lofty ideals of knight errant true romance,
ferociously chasing rainbows in caves,
heartfelt as the fox forced into rabid wolf packs for survival,
to keep pace with my snow white in Disney doe form prancing heart,
and the spirit hardened,
roamed and scrapped in the shadows,
fought fang and claw for both him and unknowing bambi…
and when the bambi found too many thorns,
which masqueraded as rose petals,
tearing away the flesh…
the fox forced to run with the wolves.
and the spirit of cynical fangs readily bared…
caught up and became me.
Sage has a range of play and serious I like to feel I relate to…and as a middle aged scribbler of rabid lines, sparks flying off briefly from wherever lightning I sense strikes, he is my only living Male totem…
Other than Sage… Saul IS the moon and stars and feral howl of the wilderness exiled to Humanity. Old gold, for he has mellowed but retains this essence of a wild child of Venus and Saturn in unholy but wanton planetary DESIRE>
Saul is not human but a nature beyond Humanity.
He is a tidal wave of words.
A megaphone of the whispers of the wind found in the forest when you are alone and removed from everything manufactured and plastic and metal and asphalt.
Somehow he helps me find a similar pulse of the those precious whispers of the wilderness…
from my motherland,
the mangled tribe within which i have found a loyal handful of kinfolk,
all feral in the heart.
an extension of Feeling which as easily finds my essence melting in their love as they express themselves as an iron fist of rough justice…
Distracted by the modern day druids finding me,
with their pulse not dulled but drawn into the rhythm of the wind they reveal themselves as a part of,
I am easily drawn back to a piece of the star and moon light,
trapped or exiled into our world…
and fervent in his unquenchable roar to return to HIS world,
as he seeks a path back towards the realm of chimeras,
lunatic poet gods,
neputunian bitch goddesses,
brutal Hercules culling all in the path of his latest quest,
Medea burning her children alive,
Zeus gone despot, with Apollo mass murdering his away to JUSTICE…
Pele is burning villages out of boredom,
dancing killer triffid flowers with mega fangs,
swaying in the martian breeze…
somewhere within he prances and scurries,
never feeling anything less than always ALIVE…
Sage is more huMAN,
The Best OF US.
Saul comes from the plane of existence we all have in our essence but most avoid. His resonance seeped into and plumbed my depths, comes to me when I am deep down in the vigorous with the energy of the full moon tides, naked of my humanity and forging some brilliant connection to the powerful flow of everything beyond human discourse, the one thing beyond primal embodiment of the spirit in the desire of the flesh, which brings us a fleeting suggestion that we are made of the wind and stars…
He is everything of a Nature I feel in the thunder shaking the earth underfoot,
and little of humanity.
I imagine Saul on the hilltop,
in the driving rain,
wild hurricane wind,
rivers breaking across their banks,
climbing always towards where he hopes the lightning will strike…